Trusting the Cycles of Your Own BEing

Trusting the Cycles of Your Own BEing

You are not meant to remain the same person in every season.

There are seasons when you will feel deeply connected to yourself.

Your ideas move.

Your body feels available.

Your spirit feels close.

You know where you are going.

And then…

there are seasons when almost nothing moves.

The desire disappears.

The certainty becomes quiet.

The body asks for less.

What once excited you no longer calls your name.

We often mistake these seasons for something being wrong.

We ask:

What happened to me?

Why don’t I feel like myself?

Why can’t I get back to who I was?

But perhaps the deeper question is:

Why are you trying to return to someone whose season has already passed?

Your BEing Has Seasons

Nature does not apologize for changing.

A tree does not become frightened when its leaves begin to fall.

The moon does not believe it has failed because it is no longer full.

The ocean does not resist its own retreat.

There is intelligence in expansion.

And there is intelligence in withdrawal.

There is intelligence in beginning.

And there is intelligence in completion.

Yet we often give ourselves permission for only one part of the cycle:

growth.

More.

Better.

Stronger.

Productive.

Visible.

Becoming.

But there is another sacred movement happening beneath becoming.

I call it BEing.

And BEing does not always move forward.

Sometimes BEing moves inward.

The Nervous System Has Seasons Too

Your nervous system is not designed to remain in one state.

It moves.

Activation and settling.

Connection and retreat.

Engagement and rest.

Opening and protection.

Energy rises…and energy returns.

The difficulty begins when the mind decides that one state is acceptable and another is not.

We celebrate ourselves when we are energized.

Then judge ourselves when we need stillness.

We praise expansion.

Then become suspicious of contraction.

But what if the body pulling inward isn’t abandoning your life?

What if it is digesting it?

There are experiences the mind understands long before the body has finished experiencing them.

A relationship ends.

A child grows.

A career changes.

The body ages.

Menopause arrives.

Someone transitions from this life.

A dream changes.

An identity no longer fits.

The calendar says the moment has passed.

But somewhere within the nervous system, integration is still occurring.

This is why sometimes the medicine is not another breakthrough.

Sometimes the medicine is completion.

Stop Asking Every Season to Bloom

A seed underground does not look impressive.

There is no applause beneath the soil.

No visible evidence.

No flowers.

And yet…

something extraordinary is happening.

Roots are learning darkness.

The seed is surrendering its former shape.

Its protective shell must soften enough for another expression of life to emerge.

Perhaps some seasons of your life are like this.

You are not lost.

You are underground.

You are not empty.

You are reorganizing.

You are not behind.

Your life may simply be asking you to become unavailable to who you have already been.

That can feel uncomfortable because the familiar self—even an exhausted self—can feel safer to the nervous system than the unknown.

So we resurrect old versions of ourselves.

Old schedules.

Old desires.

Old relationships.

Old ways of working.

Old definitions of success.

Not because they still belong to us…

but because we recognize them.

Trust Requires a Different Kind of Listening

Trusting yourself does not mean knowing what comes next.

Sometimes trust sounds like:

I don’t know who I am becoming, but I will not force myself backward simply because backward is familiar.

That is a different kind of trust.

A somatic trust.

A trust felt beneath language.

You begin noticing when the body says:

enough.

When it says:

not yet.

When it whispers:

more slowly.

When something inside you quietly says:

this no longer belongs here.

And rather than immediately correcting yourself…

you listen.

This is where Surrender. Allow. Trust. becomes a practice.

Surrender the demand to remain who you were.

Allow this season to have its own rhythm.

Trust that something can be happening even when you cannot yet see it.

Perhaps You Are Not Supposed to Know Yet

There is a strange space between identities.

You are no longer who you were.

But you cannot yet see who you are BEcoming.

We often rush through this space because uncertainty makes the nervous system uncomfortable.

We name things too quickly.

Make decisions too quickly.

Fill silence too quickly.

Find the next purpose too quickly.

But perhaps this unnamed space deserves to remain unnamed for a while.

Perhaps you do not need another identity.

Perhaps you need intimacy with yourself without one.

Sit there.

Breathe there.

Walk there.

Live there.

Let the question remain open.

Because there are answers that cannot arrive while we are interrogating ourselves.

A Quiet Practice

Today, instead of asking:

What should I be doing?

Ask:

What season am I actually in?

Place one hand over your heart and one over your belly.

Do not deliberately deepen your breath.

Allow yourself to notice the breath that is already happening.

And quietly ask your body:

Am I opening?

Am I resting?

Am I completing?

Am I grieving?

Am I beginning?

Am I between seasons?

You do not need an immediate answer.

The listening itself is medicine.

And if all you discover is…

I don’t know.

Stay there.

Because I don’t know may be one of the most honest places from which a new life can emerge.

Trust the Cycle

There will be another opening.

Another curiosity.

Another desire.

Another version of you.

But you do not have to drag her into existence.

Allow her to arrive through you.

The same life that taught your body how to breathe without instruction…

that closes wounds…

that turns food into energy…

that carries you into sleep…

that wakes you again…

is still moving within you.

Perhaps you do not need to manage every becoming.

Perhaps some things know how to become on their own.

So when your season changes…

change with it.

When your body asks for quiet…

listen.

When something completes…

honor it.

When something new begins stirring…

do not immediately name it.

And when you find yourself standing between who you were and who you are BEcoming…

remember:

The space between seasons is still a season.

Nothing has gone wrong.

Life is moving.

And you are moving with it.

Surrender.

Allow.

Trust.

Trust the rhythm.

Trust the quiet.

Trust the opening.

Trust the closing.

And most of all…

trust the cycles of your own BEing.

Stay in Peace💫